Sunday Salutations Back Home and P-Con Part 2

So, my first con has come and gone. Our first post for P-Con was written basically as the lights of the con were still fading. We knew other writers and gamers were gathered in their rooms nearby to continue the party. Yet, as extreme introverts, Tod and I hid in solitude to bask in memories of the con and wrote that blog, while we were still filled with the first delight, wonder, and tiredness of socialization.

One thing I am sad about is somehow I didn’t make it to any of Chuck Gannon’s panels. He was the Sci-Fi Guest of Honor, still P-Con was a wonderful experience. As I hear about everyone else’s experience from our writers’ group, it makes me realize how much perspective influences everything, in writing and in life. I am sure I missed many events, but overall, I had wonderful experience and learned a ton, and made connections. Therefore, the goal was completed and surpassed. We survived and possibly even thrived.

Looking back over what we wrote, I realized we missed a few highlights, as one always does, and specifically we missed a big one. We got to meet some of the other members of our writing group, who we interact with on an almost daily basis via Discord but had never met any of them in person! In reverse alphabetic order, we met: Tiffany, Mike, Matt, David, and Alyssa. It was a delight to meet each of them. Tod and I were the newest members of the group, having joined only a month before P-Con. Alyssa is the current newest member of the group, who joined during P-Con because that is how friendly everyone is. I learned that scheduling extra meetings for other friends during a con is going to be hard for me. The day before worked to meet with the members of our group who were there early, but during the con, meet ups were basically impossible unless you found another early bird (but I think those of us that get early at cons are few and far between).

I have been told this con was small but the names of everyone I met are floating through my mind like bees buzzing at the only bloom in an early spring garden. I remember my writing group because we have so many other interactions, and the interactions at the con with them were more constant. Other people, I remember because of specific small interactions, but remembering their names when I didn’t have another, or previous, reference is extremely difficult. I will have to work on training for that.

I did a learn a few items and I promised a friend and fellow newbie-writer in our gaming group that I would start recording them. Note these are things I learned from watching, which is so much easier than actually doing. (Everyone after all is a critic – few are creators.)

1) Early bird gets the Prize! If you can, go to the guest of honor coffee or find a way to chat one on one or in a small group with professionals. You learn a lot from these informal small group interactions. Let them talk. Basically, ask and listen. Don’t interrupt them. I think I will always prefer the small cons because of the chance for more one on one conversations.

2) Short is Sweet! As an audience member, ask questions that are short and to the point. At a small con such things are noticed. Tod was complimented by one panelist, just by being a good audience member. Basically, don’t ramble or try and become part of the panel. Just ask your question and listen.

3) Early is on Time! Whether you are in the audience or on a panel, try to be on time. (I know it can be hard with back-to-back panels.) But it does look odd when people show up late, interrupt the panels to come in, and then look confused during the panel. “Which panel is this again?”

4) Pay attention or at least pretend to! If you are on a panel and probably in the audience too, it looks better if you use pen and paper to take notes than your phone. (I will probably still use my phone. But maybe I’ll get a pen/tablet to take notes with. -Tod) If you are on a panel, it looks really bad if you are on your phone the whole time and don’t notice when you are asked a question.

5) Be Prepared! If you are moderating a panel, consider preparing questions and send them to the people beforehand (if possible). The panels where the moderators did this went really, really well. Also be ready to have a few extra spontaneous questions on hand if you need. (Cathy and Greg Gagnon were really good at this.)

5) Step into the breech! If you are on a panel, no matter if you are the guest of honor, or another panelist, if the moderator doesn’t show up, be willing to step up and be the moderator. It makes you look good, especially if you jot down a few questions then run with it.

6) Set standards early! When acted as a moderator, keep the audience in line from the beginning. It is much harder to control them if they think they can walk over you, than if you set the rules out early and stick to them. (This is just like dog training! -Tod) And yes, there are professional ways to ask people to be quiet or leave.

7) Be ready to Pitch! As a want-to-be author or beginning author, practice your pitch even if you aren’t on any panels someone will ask. In my case Jane Lindskold asked and I stumbled badly, but she was very nice, encouraging and told me not to be nervous. So much easier said than done. I felt my words dry up in my throat and all my thoughts became a tangled mess. I also noted when asked what I write, my default is to shy away from my fiction writing and talk about science or animals. (Something else for me to work on.)

8) Branding never stops! If you are like us and in the very early stages of this career, you probably need to consider what is the brand you want. Our brand/persona is friendly, professional, and delightfully weird — to fit with our slogan “Delightfully weird, occasionally dark”. This means that we dressed up, smiled a lot, and tried to be friendly to everyone but were allowed to make silly comments. But if you don’t have a brand yet, you might consider what you want it to be. These cons are for fans and writers, and spark the making of new anthologies, shared universes, and possibly other events. Most people want to work with people who are positive, polite, and professional. If you are further in your career, you might already have an established brand, but in-person interactions can change people’s opinions, oftentimes more so than internet interactions.

9) Only push your books so much! Yes, you are possibly there to sale your books, but it sounds odd when you tie everything back to your own books, like you haven’t read anything else. It’s not that you cannot talk about your work but talk about other works or events too.

10) Don’t talk badly about other author’s works. You come off better if you don’t just attack something. Even if you think something is the worse book ever, it is better to keep it simple and say, “it wasn’t my cup of tea” or “I loved this one thing about it”.

11) You can say ‘no’. This is one that I am working on in life in general, but you are likely to be invited to late panels, parties, or other after-con activities, if this makes you uncomfortable or would make you non-functional the next day, just say ‘no’. Tod and I jokingly said we turn into pumpkins after 9 pm. This is more or less true. There were con events going until midnight, but we choose not to go to them because: one, I need sleep or I get terrible headaches and migraine meds stop working and two, because we are both introverts (even if we don’t always seem like it). I at least start feeling like my skin is being shredded if I am around people too long. Self-care is important and even the people that enjoy the parties seem to understand and didn’t take offense.

There are a few others, but they are mostly common standards, some of which we heard in the first convention panel:

1) Be helpful. We got noticed mostly because we were helpful before the con even started. We reformatted the schedule. But Mike from our writing group was noticed because he was helpful with setting up and closing down.

2) Be polite. If the person is running between panels wave but if they can’t talk don’t be offended, they might be running to another panel. Same for con staff – if they are short with you, don’t take offense. They’re probably operating on a sleep deficit.

3) Let other people talk. People like to say their piece too. Unlike blogs or other forms, communication should involve back and forth and not be a monologue. (Unless it is a lecture, then please let the lecturer talk).

4) Don’t be creepy. They say it is normal to choose a person/panelist and follow them to different panels because you are interested in what they say. That is fine, but don’t FOLLOW them around ALL the time. Let them be. Give them space.

5) Showers are good. Please use them daily. Slight joke here, but apparently it is an issue for some people. At least they said something about it at the first convention panel.

I might make a page of Con-Etiquette later, once I have enough items. What are your pet peeves when it comes to Con-Etiquette? I am also curious how different this is from dog competitions, which will be something that I need to figure out how to add into an already busy schedule for either 2024 or 2025.

As always, enjoy Sunday and rejoice in life and fiction.

~Anna