Chaos Critter Tails: The Mystery of the Thing in the Attic

Dante meets most of the animals at the sheep ranch. And investigates the Mystery of the Thing in the Attic with their help. Professor Possum is back! Also, see Dante meet his first sheep in video!

Inspiration

We took our annual vacation at our friends’ sheep ranch in North Texas. As always, it was fun to get away from the concrete of the city and embrace the wilds. The ranch had a some new animals, and Crokell and Dante has a lot of fun exploring and meeting some semi-wild critters.

Best of all, when we returned to all the Chaos, we found Professor Possum back and waiting for us. We had not seen him since the time change. We had starting wondering if he was still our neighbor.

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The Mystery of the Thing in the Attic

Beleth considered Dante. The little Miniature American Shepherd was flopped on one of the many dog beds the house monkeys provided for Beleth, Dante, and Crokell.

"Little guy, why are you so tired? You were on vacation with our monkeys for a week."

Dante raised his head, but didn't open his eyes. "There was so much to do, Beleth! There were so many smells. And I made so many friends. And Crokell helped me solve the mystery of the thing in the attic."

Beleth settled himself. "This I've got to hear. Please proceed my pooped-canine brother."

Before Dante could start, the mellow voice of Professor Possum interrupted from outside. "Pardon me, but could you open the door a bit, so I could hear better?"

Looking outside, Beleth saw Crokell and Professor Possum. They both appeared to be enjoying the cold snap that had turned the grass brown, as Houston froze over for its biannual one week of winter.

Beleth looked around for one of the hominid servants. "Sure. Let me get someone to take care of that."

It didn’t take more than a few paws, a pitiful meow, and leading them to the glass door to have the monkeys figure out what he wanted. Their poor brains couldn’t handle the complex language of the the animal brethren. But Beleth had them do as instructed and the Chaos Critters settled down to listen to Dante’s adventure.

Dante started. "It all started with a very, very long car ride. One that felt like it would never end."

Crokell sighed deeply. "I love those kind of car rides."

Despite the aside, the little pup continued. "When we finally arrived, my nose couldn’t stop twitching. Everything smelled different, richer, deeper, and brighter. I was so busy smelling that I almost stumbled into the first of many new friends…" He paused for effect. "The first was a puppy cow!"

"A calf," translated Crokell.

Not really noticing the Newfie's comment, Dante was already onto the next part of the story. "He smelled so weird. So earthy. Not like Professor Possum or Mister Hoppers. But not like the sheep either."

The gray, bare-tailed marsupial from outside asked, "Sheep?"

Beleth blinked. "Crokell told me about them. They're taller and fuzzier than him."

Dante yipped. "I'm telling the story! The sheep are later!"

Everyone smiled or nodded indulgently and quieted down for Dante to continue.

"After the… calf, we met a Great Pyrenees — Hoss. He's Crokell's size and fluffy like big brother but my age. And he's all white. He lives outside all the time! His job is to take care of the sheep."

The little puppy looked at each of his listeners. "Which are still later in the story."

"When we got there, Hoss was sleeping. He heard us though and came over to say hello. I got to meet him." Dante sat taller, proudly. His little stub of a tail wagged until his whole butt shook. "I was a very good dog when I met him and I didn’t bite his ears at all. Crokell said that is only for dogs you know."

Crokell broke in this time. "Yes he was.”

“Until he jumped on Hoss. But Hoss is a puppy too, so he didn't mind." The Newfie laughed deep in his chest.

Dante explained. "We had a lot of fun. Hoss smelled like everything. He said he never gets baths, except the ones he gives himself. So, he smelled like all the animals and none of the animals. His scent was very doggy when he was wet from taking a dip in his private pond. Can you imaging a private pond?”

Crokell sighed deeply at the thought of a private pond in the backyard.

The story continued, unabated. “And the whole area was wonderful. So many different kinds of dirt and leaves. I wish I got to taste them all but the monkeys wouldn't let me eat the leaves. So I don't know how they tasted."

Beleth blinked. "They're like that sometimes. Monkeys. Who can understand them?"

All the critters nodded.

Dante jumped excitedly. His mouth opened and closed, almost in a yawn, trying to contain his joy. "And then! Then we got to see The Great Northern Den!"

Crokell rumbled, "I named it!"

"It's so different from Home Den." The Mini American looked at Beleth. "No cats inside. But I met some outside."

The Maine Coon perked up. "Really?"

"Yes. But--"

Everyone else finished for Dante. "They're later in the story."

Dante bounced and did a play bow. "And now, the mystery of the thing in the attic!"

Crokell huffed. "The thing on the roof!"

"But ‘the attic’ sounds so much cooler! And I'm telling the story." He and Crokell sniffed noses before Dante went on.

"While we were inside, I kept hearing something in… the attic. A little tap of noise. A skittering. Odd sounds that came randomly from overhead."

Crokell sat up. "He wasn't hearing nothing. I could hear it too. But I couldn't smell anything."

Dante tilted his head to one side. "I could smell the scotch and bourbon. But Crokell and the monkeys said I was too young to have any."

The big Newfie shook his ears. "I'm seven and they say I'm still too young."

"When do we get to drink?" pursued Dante.

His big brother looked at Beleth.

The Maine Coon's tail waved slowly as he considered. "I'm not sure."

Dante rebounded, his stub waggling. "Anyway. I wanted to know what was in the attic. Crokell said since it wasn’t our house, we should check with Hoss. But he didn't know anything about it, In fact he has never been inside The Great Northern Den. He works outside and says he prefers it that way. But Hoss did have a suggestion. He said we should ask Tort if he knew anything about something creepy in the attic."

"This is why I'm here", Crokell added. "Tort is one of the cats. He wants to be a lawyer. That's how he chose his name."

"Tort smelled like outside. Not like my brother Beleth or like Aki." Dante sneezed thinking about it.

"Tort didn't know anything and sent us to," Dante gave a dramatic pause. "The sheep."

Making his voice dramatic, like he'd heard William Shatner do while the monkeys watched TV, Dante continued. "The herd of... outdoor sheep... knew... nothing."

Breaking in again, Crokell explained about sheep. "Hoss said one group lives outdoors. The alpha sheep have individual rooms and color coordinated outfits. They live inside."

"Right," said Dante. "And the blue jacket sheep didn't know anything either."

His stub tail stopped for a second but wagged again. "And purple jacket sheep didn't even know there was an attic. Let alone something creepy sounding in it."

His over-sized brother added, "That's because there is no attic."

When Dante looked at him and stress-yawned twice, Crokell added, "But we did get to tell Hoss that one of the wraps that are supposed to keep the legs clean came loose. The sheep was a pretty annoyed at that because it meant he had to get another bath."

The thread of plot, what there was of it, was taken up by the puppy again. "We ran back to the house. But on the way, I found something that could solve our problems."

"It was a hay lifter," said Crokell. "You're not going to lift me up on the bale spears!"

Dante wiggled uncontrollably. "But it would've been awesome! You could have checked out the attic."

The big Newfie huffed. "It wasn't just me. Hoss and the head Jack thought it was a bad idea too."

With a quick spin, the youngest brother proclaimed. "Now, you're leaving stuff out. Jack is one of the Jack Russel Terriers… They had a lot of them out there. Some even younger than me."

Dante poked Beleth with his nose. "You wouldn't believe how many Jacks there are at The Great Northern Den. So many, we just call them all 'Jack'. But this one, and Hoss, did not approve of my idea. So, I was out voted. Again."

"But while they were expounding on why I couldn't do my awesome idea, Crokell and I saw something."

"Remember the cows from earlier? Two of them were putting their heads together to solve the problem."

Beleth licked one paw and wiped an ear. "I never understood that. 'Two heads are better than one.' Why? It doesn't make sense."

Freezing for a second, Dante considered the issue. "I dunno. But the cows, after thinking together, said it was Danger Cat!"

With a head tilt, the Maine Coon asked, "What's a Danger Cat?"

A puppy chuckle answered him. "That's what I thought. But it seemed to mean something to Hoss."

"Hoss told us, 'Of course it's Danger Cat!'"

The wagging stub skipped a few beats. "I was pretty... irate--"

He looked a Crokell, who nodded back. "A much better word than the bad ones you learned from the monkeys."

"I was irate and politely--"

"Yelled obscenely," interjected Crokell.

"Politely," insisted his brother. "Asked Hoss again what a Danger Cat was."

Dante's voice dropped to whisper. "You'll never guess what happened next."

He looked around, waiting for someone to guess. But not even Professor Possum proffered an opinion.

"A cat popped his head out from the ceiling!"

Patiently, Crokell explained. "It was actually the edge of the tin room. In front of the door."

"From the ceiling, a grey cat explained that he was Danger Cat." Spinning uncontrollably, Dante howled, "I still don't know why!"

"But it was pretty exhausting work. Crokell was exhausted, so I napped with him."

"The next day, Danger Cat watched us from the porch while we packed and came back to Home Den."

Crokell snorted. "It was fun and different this year. We never had mysteries at The Great Northern Den before. And it was neat having a white 'Newfie' around."

The three brothers said goodnight to Professor Possum and headed for the kitchen. One of them suggested, "Do you think we can scam more treats from the monkeys?"

Dante looked at Crokell, "Maybe if you whine using your Shatner voice. It is so much more dramatic when you do it."

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Chaos Tip of the Week

Always keep construction equipment scattered around your property. You never know what sort of unique problem you might be able to solve using a Bobcat!

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Critter’s Weekly Question

What’s your favorite piece of construction equipment?

See everyone next week!

-Anna and Tod

PS. You might have noticed that TOD choose the questions and tips this week. But I am still happy to know the answers.