Chaos Critter Tails: The Calico Princess and the Stinky Scoundrel

It is a week of firsts, and best of all, another story about our Chaos Critters. Don't miss a video interview of us, and archival video and Aki and Beleth!

May 18, 2025

Short Sunday Salutations

This week has been very, very, busy, at work, home and in our creative endeavors. It is also the first time I have known Tod to pull an all-nighter to code - usually I am the late bird, night owl, or otherwise semi sleep deprived member of the family. It is the first time in a LONG time our house has gone without regular floor sweeping and mopping since we got Frank. And it was the first time we have very had an interview done and posted related to our writing. Which was also odd, since it was about the first story we ever wrote together. So, this is a week of firsts. Some I would love to repeat, others not so much…

However, in our interview (which can be found at the end of blog or on YouTube), we talked a little too much about story we submitted. We also got to talk a bit about how we got Beleth. That in turn inspired this story from Aki’s point of view of the first intruder into her solitude of the original and only princess of our little family.

The Calico Princess and the Stinky Scoundrel

Aki looked down from her perch at the whimpering masses and sneered. She kept her ears perked up, her calico fur smooth, and her tail wrapped around her front legs.

She gave them a slow blink of derision.

Honestly, she had to admit the "masses" were only the three canine-brains in the house. And if she was honest, they weren't really whimpering.

Well, Crokell occasionally whimpered in his sleep - between snores and burbles. But he was awake, or as awake as he ever got when in the house.

Beside the drooly monster was the mouthy mutt, Dante, the newest and most active family member. The little Miniature American - looking like a small Aussie - was unable to sit still. He was... The larger monkey called it butt-walking in excitement. It was an odd thing to watch the puppy shiver with contained energy. His front paws stayed still, and his butt technically stayed in contact with the floor - but he shivered and inched closer and closer to her perch.

She sighed inwardly at his excitement. It almost oozed off of him... although maybe vibrated was a better word. But then again, did the Mini American have any other state than overactive when not sleeping?

"Aki! Can you tell me a story? Something old but new? Exciting and fun! And—-"

She gave another slow blink. "You don't ask for much, do you?"

Aki looked down at the dogs again. Dante, with his tricolor coat, sat next to his bigger brother, the Newfoundland dog Crokell. On Dante's other side was his other big brother, the Maine Coon cat Beleth.

All three were dog brains.

Aki sneered once more and then smiled. "Yes, little one. I will tell you a great tale, a tale of a time when I ruled even more supreme — alone and powerful - and was waited upon hand and foot, mouth and tail by the two monkeys."

Dante was so attentive, he even stopped shivering. She smiled at him. "First, once upon a time, it was only me and the little monkey. The days were quiet, and I ruled well. She started taking me to visit the big monkey regularly. Then one day when I was ill, we simply stayed."

Dante's voice was quiet with worry. "You were ill?"

Aki tried to sniff, but her nose made the rough sound it always did.

Dante snapped his mouth shut.

Dante and Beleth were leaning against each other. Crokell had stopped snoring and sat up. Two soft brown Newfie eyes watched her.

She finished her opening with, "I'm not sure why we stayed, but we did."

She looked down. Dante was rapt, staring at her, waiting for the next line. Crokell was panting, and during her pause, slumped over again with a big Newfie thud. Drool started gathering under his mouth along the floor.

Beleth just sat there and waited. She was never quite sure when he was being a dog and when he was being a proper cat, but it was always interesting — not that she would tell him that.

"But it was just me during daylight hours, both the big and little monkey would leave. And I would rule the house by myself. I could do anything, chew on anything, sneeze on anything, sleep on anything, and watch the world from on high. You see, we lived way up high in the clouds, and I could look down on the city - even further than I'm looking down on you now. I was supreme. But then, one day, the monkeys slept late. My kibble was delayed - I keep track of these infractions - and when they returned, I planned to make known to them their failings. They had left so soon after they woke, I was only able to mew my dissatisfaction a few times."

She paused again and drew herself up, regal and august. "Little did I know, it was my last peaceful moment in life. When they came back, they had something in a box. Something that moved and sounded pathetic. They hurried the box into the bathroom and shut the door."

She fixed her gaze on Dante. "Being a smart cat, I followed them. They wouldn't let me in, but through the door, I could smell--"

Now, the calico looked directly at Beleth. "I could smell it."

Beleth smiled back at her. "I remember coming home with them. It was really nice. I remember hearing you meowing and asking what I was. What this thing was doing in the house and demanding clean water."

Aki chose to ignore the interruption and continued the story. "It was so unruly and unclean, they kept him in the bathroom. Every week, they would take him away, and he would come back smelling worse than when he left."

At this, Beleth laughed and flopped over against Dante. Dante immediately pounced on him, and they tussled for a couple of minutes.

Aki just sat there and stared. Lifting a paw to give it a dainty lick or two while they wore themselves out. Dogs.

Crokell noticed they were playing, but didn't react. Not long after, a snore drifted up from where the drooly mass lay. Finally, the other two finished, coming back with their hair ruffled, fur between their teeth and claws and looking for all like the rascals they were.

Aki stared down and waited for them to apologize and give her proper due.

It only took a little time, but the younger pup was learning civility.

Dante wiggled at her. "Princess Aki, can I hear the rest of the story, please?"

She blinked at him. "Do you think you can stay though it?"

He nodded and butt-walked a few inches closer to her until he was too close. She patted his nose with a soft paw.

"Very well. Back up pup, and I will finish."

Dante scooted back just out of reach and looked up at her with adoring brown eyes.

She sniffed before she continued. "The thing that was in the box, it - Beleth - smelled worse every time they brought him back."

Beleth interrupted again. "Wait. Aki, with your respiratory issues, you can't smell anything. How could you smell me?"

She looked down on the canine-brained household companions again. "Really?"

She drew her head back.

She brought her lips up to show her teeth.

And...

"Achoo!"

She sneezed all over them.

Crokell woke up, looked around, and saw his two siblings and their condition. He got up, and for a moment, she thought he would leave. But he simply moved over to the other side of them, where the floor was still cool. The big Newfie lay down and went back to sleep.

Dante and Beleth were stunned for a moment. Aki could tell because their eyes got wide, and they didn't react for a second.

Finally, Crokell's first snore ripped through the air.

Then, first Beleth and then Dante ran into the other room.

Aki looked down at Crokell. "I expect the monkeys will take care of them like the good servants they occasionally are."

Crokell, without really waking up, opened one eye. "You got that right, Ak."

Aki looked down at him. "That's 'A-ki'. It's only two syllables, but I insist on both of them."

Crokell gave a dog smile. "Whatever you say A--"

He paused a second. "--Ki."

After that, Aki decided she would ignore Crokell for a while, like he deserved.

Finally, the youngest brother and the middle brother came running back and settled down.

Beleth broke the silence first. "I'm just here to make sure you're actually telling the truth."

Dante waited till Beleth was finished and then yipped. As she listened to him, Aki wondered if he had a tail, would his butt not wiggle so much?

"I would like to hear the rest of the story. I'm sure Aki always tells the truth."

Aki decided to go ahead and finish the story, but figured she should make him work for it since he had failed to stay in one place.

"Oh? But you did not remain still. I am not sure I should waste my time on you."

Dante gave a small whine and lowered his head. "I am sorry, princess Aki... It was just your... Well, I needed to make sure I was clean before remaining in your august presence."

Aki blinked, almost laughed, but nodded assent. The little menace was learning his proper place.

"Very well. It was some time, several weeks and many vet visits, before they finally released it into the house. They let him roam and get to meet me. Although, while the monkeys were gone during the day, we did talk a little under the door, despite its smell."

Beleth smiled and climbed up close to the bed and put his head on the edge right next to Aki. "Oh, come on. You liked having me to talk to."

Aki sighed. "That was when I thought you were a servant. I preferred living alone and ruling from a solitary throne."

Beleth squirmed, looked up and smiled at her again. "The way I heard it from the monkeys on my way home was, you were desperately lonely, and they brought me home so you would have a companion."

Aki looked at her younger "puppy-cat" brother. "I never!"

But when Dante and Crokell were exchanging a glance, she bent down and gave Beleth's ear a little lick.

She settled back into her regal pose just in time, as Dante bounded to his feet and, with a clatter of claws, scrambled up onto the bed. "I like story time, but I like herding even better."

Just like that, they were off.

Our Interview with Black Cat Publishing

On top of that here is our first interview as authors! The direct link is https://youtu.be/Cxfwrslj018.

Francesca and Mark are wonderful people and a delight to work with. Tod bought and enjoyed their comics, The Black Cat Chronicles, which feature stories of little known mysteries from around the world.

In Black Cat Tales, we tell the story of A Press of the Button.

The publisher has a video for the release here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzgHmGZa14U

We have the first story we ever wrote coming out soon - we’re going to say it is our 13th story published (even if it is 11th or 12th) because it’s cooler that way. Oh! And guess what?

Sam Robb

joins us here too!

From Black Cat Publishing, Black Cat Tales: An Anthology of Black Cats

Available Friday the 13th of June, 2025 from http://www.black-cat-publishing.com/.

https://www.amazon.com/Black-Cat-Tales-Anthology-Cats-ebook/dp/B0DXMXX5JP/

Black Cat Publishing says:

A black cat approaches, do you let it cross your path, or run in the opposite direction? From the superstitious to the unlucky, from a witch's familiar to a soul stealing grave robber, black cats have captured our imagination and remain solidly in the realm of the dark.

Join authors from around the world for never before published horror, dark fantasy and mystery short stories and poems featuring the beloved, feared and mystical black cat. Black Cat Tales showcases a diverse group of authors ranging in age from 17 to 80, some with multiple award winning publications under their belts, for others, this will be the first time seeing their work in print.

Chaos Tip of the Week

If you smell something like sulfur around your cat, don’t look for a demon. Instead, check if you cat has just taken a dip to prevent ringworm. If that’s the case, remember that one bath isn’t enough. Make sure your cat keeps up with the routine as most will resist after the first sniff.

The vet staff thought it hilarious that Beleth didn’t mind either the water or the smell. He was only distraught that nobody would play with him while he air-dried.

Chaos Question of the Week

What is the worse smell your dog, cat, or other pet has ever brought home and how did you handle it?

Chaos Critters